Dear Stuart,

I wore black again, except for my olive green pants and bright green shoes.

But this time the black wasn't symbolic. I ended up having a really good day despite a rocky start.

I woke up with no hunger but have the habit of eating. So I had pretzels and peanuts and crackers and coffee and a few more crackers. I started to write in my journal but the minute my pen hit the paper both my father and Luke appeared, talking to one another and me and themselves. It was about 8:45am. Hrmph.

I talked to my roommate Minoo on the phone today. I was crying before she called, but pulled myself together and called her back. We ended up talking for two hours, or, she ended up talking for two hours about her trip to southeast Asia; meeting her family there for the first time and reuniting with her ex-boyfriend/friend/they-were-'together'-while-they-traveled guy. It was interesting at points but other moments I found myself zoning out. Either way, while we talked I cleaned my room and was generally so happy to hear about her opportunity and funtimes traveling. She's had a challenging upbringing and despite it she has a really kind and gentle soul. And when you get to know her, she's got a dirty mouth and some crazy stories, too. She can tell you anything you want to know about classic films. Her drink of choice in college was Goldschlager... and malt liquor. But everyone drank that.

ANYWAYS, my Nonno had a great day today. We went around and bought wine and Prosecco and some vegetables for my mom's maybe-surprise birthday party on Friday. When we were done with the errands, he was interested in seeing the lights shining on the grain mills, so we drove downtown and tried to get a glimpse. But despite it being dark, we didn't get to see any lights as we drove up the skyway. We spent some time getting lost downtown and eventually found our way home to the turkey and vegetables I had chopped up stewing in the crock pot, and the stock (with the bones and veg scraps) simmering on the stove. We took a break from walking in the front living room and I wound up one of his music boxes and we listened to the bell-y melody play over and over until it faded. When we got to the table, Nonno wanted a glass of wine (!).


Do you know where it comes from? "Cento" (pronounced "chen-toe") means "100." Cin-cin (or "chen, chen") is a derivative of that, meaning "100 years!"

For dessert, I made him a glass of golden milk, and he's a fan!

My mom went to the allergist today because she's had trouble breathing lately. After lots of testing, guess what the allergist prescribed?

A psychologist. "You need to learn how to relax," he said. She has a throat condition called laran-something (not -gitis though) that causes her throat to close when she's stressed out.

"He said that?", I asked when she told me. "I've been saying that for forever." It felt very validating. Now she has to, doctor's orders.

I feel sorry we never got to talk today. It wasn't on purpose. I was thinking about you, but the night ran late as I oriented the new overnight aid to the house and all the nuances of his lifestyle/habits. She seems very nice. 

It's already encroaching on tomorrow-land and I'm exhausted but I don't want to go to sleep just get. I need a shower and my ankle still hurts. I listened to "Burning Down the House" by the Talking Heads on repeat today. 

What a difference a day can make. How many more until I see you?

Love you so much Stuart! Even from afar, you keep me warm.